Wednesday, 19 June 2013

How to Handle Rejection

Everyone has to face rejection at some point or another. Recently I have faced quite a few rejections in a row, which could be discouraging. They weren’t unexpected at all in the context of either limited resources or a very small likelihood for success. Nevertheless, the first few put me down rather badly. The last two or three were still gloomy but I rebounded faster.

I talked to other people about my plans and told them that I expected rejection.  I was told that I shouldn’t be negative, but the wisest person told me just to persevere. Interestingly I feel that being more comfortable with rejection is not an indication of low self-esteem or accepting defeat – quite the opposite actually. My attitude to rejection is changing the more I believe that miracles are possible and that I could leave my desires to the Universe to manifest. Rather than seeing rejections as a barrier, I choose to see them as an opportunity for building self-confidence and finding my path in life.

The word rejection doesn’t sit well with most people. I have sometimes found that I’m almost afraid to read or contemplate the word for fear that it would imprint itself on my mind and manifest in my reality. Yet pushing the word below the surface doesn’t help. The things that come from our subconscious mind that are less than nice to behold can best be healed by calling them out from the shadows. When one takes a proper look at them, they cease to be a threat. So rejection also asks us to confront it full on, without fear. When seen in the light, its guise can easily change from a monster in various hues of menace to an angel that beckons opportunity, illuminating the ways of trust and faith as viable options.

When looking at it closely, rejection means that someone doesn’t want us, they think we’re not good enough or they’re just not interested in what we have to offer. Looking at all my past rejections it was the defeat perhaps more than anything else that I had to overcome. The only way to overcome the urge to give up is to get up from the dust and try again. When I look at the rejections in themselves though I cannot think of any instance in which I can truly say that what I wanted was better than what I eventually got. Fair enough, I couldn’t pursue the paths where the doors closed for me. Yet my resolve and self-belief were tested and I came out stronger on the other side, rendering the closed doors a gift.

When one gets rejected the question to ask is whether one wants to internalise the world’s standards as one’s own. The alternative is to be the one to define the standards, believe in them and bring them into the world. You might not convert everyone but you would convert a few. In the end the worst thing you could do is play along with someone else’s game just to maintain their approval. It would eventually become draining, if not disempowering.

In instances where one actually has to play the world’s game, rejection could mean that you just aren’t good enough yet. In which case you have the opportunity to persevere, improve and try again. If you lose interest then it wasn’t the road for you and the right one would show itself if you keep walking and maintain a positive attitude.

Rejection tests our self-belief. It entices us to ask the questions of how we would like to define our success and how we want to be loved. If the answer boils down to being ourselves then we return to the treasure within and we know where to find our power.

Rejection doesn’t mean failure. The only failure would be to cease trying. Where we apply our efforts with love, success is guaranteed. If I had to measure my self-worth according to what others thought of me (positive or negative) then I would have missed the point – success and acceptance would lose their meaning.

In pursuit of our dreams the true magic happens when we start trusting that the right things will come about in their own way and time. Although we might not always understand what’s going on, our path will be paved if we keep walking. There is nothing better we could do than be true to ourselves and continue in pursuit of our heart’s desires. Rather than always yearning for something better, we show our gratitude to the Universe by accepting what we have, knowing it’s what is best for us. In this way we bring more good things into our life. Surrendering to a will higher than our own is the fastest way to transform limitations into opportunity.