I am writing this in response to ideas I have encountered
that “being in the present” would make our burdens lighter. I’m wary of easy
answers to life’s trickiest challenges: painting reality in a rose-coloured
tinge usually just serves to sweep things under the carpet. Unfortunately it
seems that it is an easy way to make money because people would rather buy into
easy answers than face up to challenges. I am not in favour of creating
unnecessary problems either. My approach is to confront the darkness as in this
way it dissolves, making space for a new experience. Positive thinking should
not require effort or favour denial – a simple change in attitude can do the
job to make a person feel lighter. This brings me to the often prescribed cure
for troubles: being “in” the present moment. More often than not such cures
make me feel worse: in addition to what I’m dealing with, I feel frustrated for
being unable to feel better when supposedly it is easy.
There is a reason why people drift out of being present to
the moment in the first place. There is the hope that things will be better
later: the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Sometimes
hope is all that gets a person through a difficult time. When this is the case,
things do get better and are in fact often much better than before. The process
by which we lose touch with where we are is tangled up with the principle by
which society is run: that there is always something to achieve. It is not easy
to reverse the conditioning that our existence has to be earned.
The present is the only chance we have to make significant
changes that could affect the future. It is also where we have to confront all
that we would rather not deal with. It is when we stop to take stock that the
monster we have been hiding in the closet begs to see the light of day.
Acknowledging what we feel is far more challenging than continuing an existence
that runs to a promised future laid out by everyone else. Being present entails
taking responsibility for the direction we are heading in. This is really
frightening when one doesn’t know which steps would be the right course of
action.
Being in the present is not something that has to be obtained.
Rather, the most beneficial use of the present entails reversing the notion
that there is something to achieve. Rather than searching for the gift in the
present or worrying about doing it right, I propose that realising that we are
in the present anyway is the key to bringing about change. This does not mean
that everything will be rosy or that we are escaping our troubles; rather, it’s
the opposite.
The present is the opportunity we have to connect the points
of the past and future, healing what needs to be healed and aligning our steps
with what we find meaningful. It does not mean that the sailing will always be
smooth, but it does give us the opportunity to steer our own ship. In this way,
we do not need to achieve ourselves. The dream has already been created – it is
the reason why it showed up in our hearts in the first place. The present asks
us to have the courage to see it through, bringing our most vulnerable parts to
light.
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