As much as I find myself bursting with energy and ideas more
often the more I direct my energy towards playing my own game, there are days
when my mood matches today’s weather, which is grey, dreary and downright
depressing. On these days I don’t want to deal with the world, let alone work
on anything that is supposed to make me excited.
During the dark times all my efforts seem futile and
whatever anyone says, it doesn’t help. I want to hide what I’m feeling from the
world and yet I know better than to fight it. “Solutions” only make me
feel worse because they make me feel that I’m supposed to feel better when I’m
not.
So how does one move forward on the dark days? I often find
that the darkness is my friend. It shows me the parts of myself that I need to
look at in order to heal. Discomfort is often just something trying to break
loose and free itself, leaving space for new light to come in. The process of transformation
never ends. When we have dealt with one thing, the light flows a bit more
freely until it is time to deal with another spot of darkness.
On others’ recommendation I embrace the process. Having a
down day doesn’t make me a bad person. I’m strong enough, so I sit with it. As
far as working on any projects goes, I do what I can and the rest normally takes
care of itself.
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